After All – Its Only Pain(Lost Love)

© Linda Susan Page 5-2001

Sometimes my legs get so tired from climbing this
mountain of life.

My chest hurts –
where is my breath?

I sit down on the rock to rest – after all, I’m more than half way to the top.

I Feel my pain – it comes bubbling up from deep within me.

The core of my being cries out –
The sobs – like sound waves come from my lips.
Hot tears flow from my eyes.

I rock myself as I would rock a small baby-
back and forth –
to the rhythm of the pain.

Sometime – after a while –
a vast space of ……
nothing appears.

Perhaps it is freedom-
I don’t know yet.

Now I feel…..bored with this…old – familiar friend…
this pain.

I notice the strength, endurance and determination of being human –
starting to flow from me again.

The thread of life –
curiosity, wonder, joy of what is coming next –
grabs my attention.

I take a long drink from the oceans of Divine’s love.

I find my breath is back moving through my body.
I stand up from my seat of despair –
my legs are strong and rested.

I start my climb once again up these mountain stairs.

This time – I notice tiny velvet flowers –
purple, pink and yellow growing a long the path.

Birds singing in the trees.

A gentle wind blowing sweetly through my hair.

I know when the familiar pain of life –
is but a distant memory-

And joy of living fills my heart –

My Spirit will take wings and fly to the very top of this mountain.

There Divine is waiting for me –
with arms open – smiling

Always knowing what I know now…..

Love flows from the inside…out.

Before it can ever flow from the outside…in.

Loving myself first is the secret key to all love.

– Linda Susan Page