© Susan Page 5-2001
Sometimes my legs get so tired from climbing this
mountain of life.
My chest hurts –
where is my breath?
I sit down on the rock to rest – after all, I’m more than half way to the top.
I Feel my pain – it comes bubbling up from deep within me.
The core of my being cries out –
The sobs – like sound waves come from my lips.
Hot tears flow from my eyes.
I rock myself as I would rock a small baby-
back and forth -
to the rhythm of the pain.
Sometime – after a while –
a vast space of ……
nothing appears.
Perhaps it is freedom-
I don’t know yet.
Now I feel…..bored with this…old - familiar friend…
this pain.
I notice the strength, endurance and determination of being human –
starting to flow from me again.
The thread of life –
curiosity, wonder, joy of what is coming next –
grabs my attention.
I take a long drink from the oceans of God’s love.
I find my breath is back moving through my body.
I stand up from my seat of despair –
my legs are strong and rested.
I start my climb once again up these mountain stairs.
This time – I notice tiny velvet flowers –
purple, pink and yellow growing a long the path.
Birds singing in the trees.
A gentle wind blowing sweetly through my hair.
I know when the familiar pain of life –
is but a distant memory-
And joy of living fills my heart –
My Spirit will take wings and fly to the very top of this mountain.
There God is waiting for me –
with arms open – smiling
Always knowing what I know now…..
Love flows from the inside…out.
Before it can ever flow from the outside…in.
Loving myself first is the secret key to all love.
- Susan Page